Light up!! Light up, as if you have a choice....

A very well known quote no doubt, I have loved it since I heard it when I was 14, and it has been one of my favorite quotes since, but not until now, have I understood it in this light.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

I am 20 years old, I am so young in comparison to the whole picture. I am at the age in my life where I am finding that the impossible is possible, where I am excelling and being beyond joyful at ever aspect of my life.

Now surely, I am more satisfied with my life now, than when I was younger, but I do miss those days when everything was easier...I used to think high school was hard, man was I wrong. I used to think growing up would fix and rid my problems, wrong again. I used to think that being between the ages of 12-18 were the hardest, and oh my goodness, was I wrong about that too. Those days, the Lord was preparing me for what was to come, with the severity of those trials, I should have taken into consideration the depth of my future trials.

Now, upon the decision after talking with a dear friend of mine, he encouraged me to go and find the good in me. Not the type of egostatiscal people make up, but genuinely, what other people see in me, the good God sees in me, that He has given me.

I was somewhere thinking about this aspect of my life, and how I want to go about it, then I realized how absolutely terrified I was of looking inside, finding that good, and bringing that knowledge into my light. I wonder how it will change me, if it will make me less humble...introspection is not as intimidating when you are looking for what s wong with you...that is easy. You know its there, but you wonder if you really have anything good in there, or if your buket is empty, or if it has something in it...if it is truly real, and genuine.

What if I dont love ME? I surely love and absolutely adore others, that is easy...but me. Me of all people...this is going to be hard, surely emotionally straining...I will try.I will work it out.

I will get back to you when I ahave figured it out, and once I know for myself.