Tell me when you hear my heart stop...theres a possibility you wouldnt know.

A woman's heart bears the weight of the world.
Often feeling alone, until the reminder that Christ too, shares the load.

The pain felt within that heart may never be spoken of,
and for many reasons.

One, no one should have to feel that pain.
Two, she shouldn't remind herself of that pain by tying to communicate it, because it can only be felt by the one experiencing it.
Three, its not fair to share that pain with anyone, as only joy should be shared.
Lastly, it might kill the one who is watching.

It amazes me that Christ would die for me, I have sinned beyond what I would have forgiven myself of, I have experienced so much pain and disappointment in my life, both self inflicted and caused by others doing, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Barely being able to hold my own, with Christ's help, astounds me that he willingly died for me, and took upon him, everything wrong with me, everything I have ever felt, every sin...I can only imagine how much he bleed...because sometimes it feels like I could bleed.

My pain, my hurt...it radiates through my body, pulsing through my veins, most painful from the source, my heart. I am still alive and still breathing, but it is painful. My physical body feels the pain from my emotions, it a double edged gift. Strong intuition, strong emotions...its absolutely lethal - you can feel the negative impact or the positive lifting; and to such extremes.

Knowing that only one other person has ever felt my pain is enough to know that more than ever, I need him. This is a unique pain.

There are some whose eyes are not blind and can catch the feeling of your pain as you walk by with a smile plastered on your face covered up with the loud laughter that no longer comes naturally and easily, but has to be forced from every fiber of your being.

For those individuals, I am grateful, for they show they really care.

And the only way to say anything, at all, the only way to deal with everything, is to cry. And so cry I will, until I am healed, and I have cried away all my pain.