My favorite season has passed and wont return for 3 more seasons, I miss it; I have officially moved into fall, all my boxes are unpacked and reality has set in-this is home. Although I despite the cold, ok, hating the cold is an understatement, there is something exciting about it-about the change. I love the red trees, the changing leaves, the sweaters and jackets, gloves and scarves.
The cooler weather brings people closer, both physically and emotionally. Again, this is another post about my longing for love. But this time, it feels different. My intentions are different. I want to be a mother, more than anything. I want to love and be loved. That is not much to ask, these reoccuring dreams of my family, my husband, are driving me insane. It leaves me envying myself, in my restful state, sleeping is something to both look forward to and hide from. Although I am happy with the pictures I see, I feel the sting that I now lack what I desire.
There is a song I adore, it is titled: "Every Season" and it's by Nichole Nordeman. I highly recommend it, and I think it fits perfectly for this post. Here are the lyrics:
Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds I will offer thanks for what has been and
was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring.
I have many things to say, but school is taking over my life, as it usually does. Take care, until I post again. xoxoxx
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