Your still you.

I have been writing alot these past few days. Do not judge me, I have a load on my mind and i must speak or else I may just drown in all my emotion.

I am experiencing many things. God has given me a tender heart, affected greatly by those I love. I love people, weather or not it by my choice or if love just befalls me. Sometimes I cannot help loving people.

I first must say, I am happy. If you are barely reading my most recent postings they sound dreadful to say in the least, however, this is not so. I am very much happy with my life. I love life. So much. Despite all the ups and down, and everything in between. Life it tragically beautiful. Pain is beautiful. change is beautiful. Happiness is beautiful.
I have stopped grieving over the things that once pained me, altering my view of life, plaguing my nights, thwarting my progressing. I have chosen to be happy weather life wants me to be or not.
However, I also choose to be strong enough to cry. To feel.
When I talk of the sadness I am feeling more recently I speak of such:

When she walks past me, talks with me, writes, I feel their pain. It radiates.
It is like watching the light, the life being sucked from them. It is not fair, even as I attempt to stand in the way of that which is taking them from me, I seem to be almost, penetrable. I cannot deflect what has been meant to come their way.

I am OK. I want to make everything OK.

"Everything will be OK in the end, if its not OK, then its not the end."

Let me attempt to salvage their hearts and mend them.

I also wish to talk of love, however, she has put into words that I cannot say better:

"What is it about love that captivates us so completely that we are rendered speechless, breathless, dreaming as if what we are wishing has already been granted and He or She is ours.I am in love with being in love. I love, love. I- am not in love.But O' to be in love!I crave the propinquity of another just as you crave the same. To hold the hand of my Eternal, Enduring Tie, brings me utter exuberance. How can one ever let those hands go? I don't even know what those of my adorable husband look like- But I'm already entranced.The cheese comes out in my hopeful romantic writing...I already hold an Invisible Bond to the one who will mutually find me, and although i am honestly all too eager for that day... I'm patient because I've realized neither you nor I, am prepared. But I will be here. :)I can find one too many reasons to love and for that reason alone, I simply cannot wind up alone. :P Dearest Reader: We are more alike than you realize. We both hold the capability to love and be loved. Our extent is different in depth, portion and frequency.I guarantee at least once in your life you have not been able to control the swooning nature of your honest heart.You yearn for love in an honest, true and humble nature. Whether you believe it justly or not.We are united in this, if not anything else.Love bonds even the un-met.

What is it about love that keeps us a prisoner of emotion, whether cruel hurt, silent surrender, or delicate joy.Our longing for propinquity is human, aside of our individual twisted calamities of love, I find refuge in knowing I'm not alone in longing for that propinquity we all silently, or vocally, yearn for.I suppose love is another gripping emotion that binds us together as a couplet.I'm proud to say that love no longer writes my story, but i write loves. Yet in contemplation, is it any different? If i write love, love must have found me... Interesting.The purpose-- Can we not love our enemy because they once loved also? Just another binding of our human exterior and soul emotion one to another."