In love with a beautiful idea...LOVE.

Maybe it is just the idea, the hope of love that I find myself in love with...

each song i hear on the radio is painful as the beautiful music fills my ears,

it is either about a harsh break up, much like one i have experienced,

or one of about being in this amazing love.

(that i am unable to experience, unentitled to, it remains untouched by me)

i cant but help feeling left out.

i know i write of love often;

i vent of the stupidity and insulting men of this world, some times i become bitter...

but then i see the movie, hear the song, catch a glimpse of someone, and my heart is yet again trapped in my illogical fantasies of love with a man, who rides on a white horse, who will not only save me, but all of me, my heart, and capture them, and find me captivating, breathtakingly amazing.

hoping for my time to come today, or tomorrow.

when i know it wont come at all.

why do i continue to fool myself with the falsity's of love?

i am very hot and cold with this subject.

i don't want to walk this road alone.

i want, i need, long for my own mr. darcy, my own edward cullens.

though, i flee at the thought as well...

can it be, that i am just in love with being in love?

am i the author of my love story?

have i been the only one writing my book?

have i fallen under loves spell?

i declare yes.

[unfortunately & tragically]

yes i am.

i am sick of love, or rather,

love sick.