Frustrated

So, upon my arrival tonight at my instructors gym I walked into the gym, and NO one was there. I am tired of going to train, and get better, learn new things and fight, and having NO one to fight with. Punching bags will only do so much. They don't fight back.

And I am tired of having people being late, or simply just not showing up. I like, no I love fighting. It is my dream. It is so inconsiderate, so rude and disrespectful of my time. I have a life you know. I am sure my time is worth far more than theirs. They just party it up. Stupid.

If you really love something your willing to sacrifice to obtain your dream. And sacrifice I do.

I don't understand why they are so....incompetent to get that they need to stop messing around. I am so on my own on this.

My instructor, nothing against him when I say this, I just need to vent. He says one thing and does another. I am tired of being patronized. I am tired of "another time"....that is not a definite day. Hence it will never come. I hate this, so bad it is bothering me so much. I am tired of being stood up, waiting for my chance to come, when people who say they care, really don't.

I have always had to climb to the top on my own, forcing my way through the crowd. Slowly stepping my way up the ladder. It has always been a struggle; why did I think this would be any different? Excuse my cynical mood today. But for today, I don't care what I say I am tired of being polite, not saying "offensive" things. I am tired of not having anyone do for me. I just want whats fair.

Yes, he invests money in the studio, yes, he wants to have the best fighter. That is rude for the boys not to appreciate. But I invest my time, and my funds, what little I can afford. I hate this tonight. I'm just done.