My school is officially ending Friday. Still too soon, yet not soon enough. With a pile of homework laughing in my face, making fun of the fact that i yet have to write three essays and give time that I cannot because it is not. How nice it would be to own my own time. It is mine after all right? I should decide who gets it, and when, I would be fully and happily devoted then.
But that is not this day. So I will continue working through my days of strenuous college work, with late nights of more homework than I can chew, least to say bite off. I am trying to find humor in my situation, yet it seems to be hiding somewhere only few know.
I sit at a wonderful after school program, I am working with what they consider high risk children. I don't understand why they label them by such an intimidating title. These children are beautiful, with genius minds. Little models, and chefs in the making. Why put a damper on them by calling them names?
the snow is softly falling as I look out the window. And yet again, the loneliness of not having a man, to be with creeps up and swallows me and completely engulfs me entirely. It almost looks like a movie, I wish I could replay the snow fall. It is beautiful. Why is love so fiercely sought after? Desired? At times its unbearable. Until I hear the dingle of a message from my friend. My dear, dear friend. Is it so, can it be? That someone so special can fill such a deep, bottomless, hollow pit inside the one thing that cannot be touched? Yes. Yes. Take comfort in that. I do.
As I prepare for the weeks to come. I feel intimidated by the shoes and tasks I must fill. The neck of my home will be impaired for 14 days. I will take care of an entire household. Maybe my baby hunger will be suppressed by this, but not even working with these children feeds my heart.
But that is not this day. So I will continue working through my days of strenuous college work, with late nights of more homework than I can chew, least to say bite off. I am trying to find humor in my situation, yet it seems to be hiding somewhere only few know.
I sit at a wonderful after school program, I am working with what they consider high risk children. I don't understand why they label them by such an intimidating title. These children are beautiful, with genius minds. Little models, and chefs in the making. Why put a damper on them by calling them names?
the snow is softly falling as I look out the window. And yet again, the loneliness of not having a man, to be with creeps up and swallows me and completely engulfs me entirely. It almost looks like a movie, I wish I could replay the snow fall. It is beautiful. Why is love so fiercely sought after? Desired? At times its unbearable. Until I hear the dingle of a message from my friend. My dear, dear friend. Is it so, can it be? That someone so special can fill such a deep, bottomless, hollow pit inside the one thing that cannot be touched? Yes. Yes. Take comfort in that. I do.
As I prepare for the weeks to come. I feel intimidated by the shoes and tasks I must fill. The neck of my home will be impaired for 14 days. I will take care of an entire household. Maybe my baby hunger will be suppressed by this, but not even working with these children feeds my heart.
How can I silence my heart, it is crying out for a love? If you can tell me, do so now, if not, prepare for more of my hearts lyrics.
I never thought I would see the day come when I would actually be able to smile with real and purposeful intent. But I have climbed the mountain, but there are more to climb, come with me on my adventure,be here, and enjoy the splendor with me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment