December 7th, 2009

The cold white powder begins to settle in my mind. Winter is here.
I watch the old lonely man walking across the street, no lover to hold and warm his hand,
and heart.

I wonder if I will end up like that. After only 19 years, the pangs of being single still haunt me. Christmas songs fill the air, and oh...why must I imagine such scenes...

Moving on.

I am grateful for all that I have been blessed with, a good family, amazing friends...I have a home [that I must add, is literally falling apart]. I have a car [that too quickly empty's of all that is good]. The bills are high, my name is on collections lists'...sometimes, its a little hard to stay happy when you keep remembering what is making you stay awake at night.

There is too much month left at the end of the money. There is never enough time. Ever.

I dont remember my first intentions of writing. Dang!! I will just write what I may until it comes back to me.

Yesterday was one of the most spiritually edifying Sabbaths I have had in a long time, it has given me much hope that I can make my life and future brighter, happier. That things will be ok.
"Chains shall he break...in his name all oppression shall cease..." all I know is we will be ok because we are in his hands.

There are 2 blessings I am especially grateful for today.
1) ron Morelli, he is a wonderful man, friend and inspiration may God bless him!!
2) My family and I were blessed with $5000 gift card to R.C. Willey, as my papa said, there are others who deserved it as well, indeed it is a blessing. We have a couch. A new fridge and freezer. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!