My last day, a change.

Unfortunately my visit has almost come to a close, I must wait another month before I can come again. I guess it might be a good thing, seeing as too much a good thing, really isn't that good - or is it?

My last visit here, my "gas tank" was empty, I was just rolling to a complete stop, after four fantastic, fun filled days, I was sad to leave, but I was OK, because I had been taken care of in every way that a woman needs to be.
It is the same this time, I was running on empty, but not as bad as last time, but unwaveringly, the two filled me tank, and are giving me some to take home.

I am torn in two, my two best friends, living 300 miles away from me is quite the burden to bear, while everything, and everyone I know,would remain where I spend most days. I wish I could split myself into several people, at least three, give one to each, and stay home. And be able to fully experience everything and remember it, and merge all together when we all in one place.

There is beauty in friendship and sisterhood like this...

Halo

I get to travel 300 miles this weekend, to share 2 and 1/2 short days with my guardian angels. They have wiped my tears away many times, have saved my soul from drowning in my self inflicted stream of tears. The excitement is quite a bit more than I can handle, oh how I long to be there, to feel their touches, to be held in their arms, to have every ounce of fear, pain, and concern squeezed out of me from their embrace. The excitement is written all over my face.
I admire them like I a little boy admires his fathers strength, courage, and drive. They have burned through my darkest of nights.
I am awakened from the very air I breathe when I am with them. To see their smiles, it is a sight for sore eyes. They are everything I need and more.
I get to stand under the light of their halo's, I get to look as their minds become a prism for Gods light to shine through, I can see, I can feel their halo's...my angels, my guardian angels. My best friends.
Everywhere I look now, I pray it wont fade away. This small piece of heaven.

What we could learn from dogs

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Share your toys
When something is bothering you -shake it off!
Stick to determination - be passionate!

Always make room, there is always room.

Get along with the opposite sex.

Smile. BIG!

Get lost inside of pure bliss.

Show your love be a cuddle bug!

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Run, romp and play daily, play as hard as you can.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wiggle your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout....run right back and make friends.

Live for today!

Express you affections! Give it freely.

Fight for what you believe in.

When you do a job, do it well!

Anxiously await people.

Realize that you can have to good stuff in life, allow yourself to have it, even if its a lot to chew.

Never let go of those most important in your life.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

And MOST of all....
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, listen, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Reclaiming my life

I have been cleaning out my closets, all the skeletons and ghosts have been put to rest. I have been stripped of all my layers and colors. In this life I have found a familiarity. I have new acquiring tastes. I am leaving out all the "rest" because I have found a new life.

I have awoken, and shaken off all the dust and chains that were putting me into an eternal slumber. I have been watched over, and looked after by angels, and my big brother, he took me by my hand, and lead me through hell to get me closer to heaven. how quickly the flowers fade, is how quickly I could fall once again. I have cried many times I wouldn't, but I did. Its been 3 weeks...and although I know its never really over, I have been fighting for years, and i will always have to continue my battle with myself, to suppress all my demons.

My collective heart has been in a drought, and the rains have come, yet they have not washed away my progress like in past times, I cant help but think maybe, just maybe, I am up and running again. I have broken down, and built myself back up, I have been thrown in front of the crowd, and been mocked by all my weakness', I have been criticized for all my flaws, then I have been labeled as "under construction". And all within the chambers of my own heart, soul, and mind.

A new beginning from change, I stand now. I DECLARE ME...